Only boring people get bored

Hello world! After a very long break from blogging, I am officially back and at it again. I'd rather not get into all the nitty gritty details of the past 2 years--there's so much to tell I could probably write an entire book about it--so instead I shall start from the present and just fill you in on the historic details whenever needed for the purposes of telling this present story. What say you, shall we begin? 

First off, let me just say I have so missed writing! Somewhere between de-boarding the plane after 4 months abroad, moving back to LA, and finally landing a job, I seem to have grown so consumed with life that I forgot to share it with you all. Sad, I know. I mean how could you have possibly lived without my crazy life adventures to entertain you? Surely you must have wept hours and hours from such a loss, and for that I am truly sorry. But my friends, please take heart, for I have not forever left you in your sorrowful state as I have many a new story to share with you. And I realize that may come as a shock to you. Many of you are probably wondering how my life now could possibly be as interesting and entertaining as my life of traveling, but I assure you, it is. 

I've come to realize the truth in the saying that only boring people get bored. In the same way that we are all given the opportunity to do something interesting with our lives, life has the potential to be a wild and crazy adventure, whether you're working a regular 9-5 at a job you hate or you're living you're dreams of exploring the world and taking in the most beautiful scenery you could ever lay eyes upon, it all depends on us. Now I'm not trying to ignore the fact that life has a tendency of throwing us curve balls now and then or completely knocking us on our faces. Believe me, I've been there, just last week actually. And in those times, sometimes all you can do is sit there crying and nursing your wounds. To a certain extent, that's all good and healthy. But there comes a point when you have decide whether or not you're going to take all the hard things life throws at you lying down or if you're gonna stand up and keep pushing forward. Will you choose to believe you are a strong individual who has the strength and courage to endure, or will you choose to be a victim of circumstances you will never be able to fully control? 

I hate to be another resounding bell, but it's really all about perspective. I remember countless times when Colton and I were traveling through Europe when something wouldn't go as planned (in the rare occasion that we actually had a plan I should add). Something would happen like a train strike in Cinque Terre, Italy on the day we were supposed to leave, or getting stuck in a small town on Easter with no place to stay and no way of leaving, or even getting out bags stolen in France. There were so many circumstances that we couldn't prevent (and admittedly some that we probably could've) and each time we had a choice of how we would react. I'd like to say that we always chose to face any given setback with a positive attitude and a sense of humor, but I know that wasn't always the case. However, I do remember pretty early on that no matter what happened, we always ended up coming to the conclusion that, well, at least this will make a good story! 

Having that attitude I think is what really got us through some of the hardest times. We didn't ignore the fact that sure, some aspects of traveling are just not very fun or glamorous, but knowing that we had a story to tell gave us the perspective that one day we would be on the other side of whatever obstacle we faced and when it was all said and done we would look back and laugh at our present misery. Because at least it made a good story. I wonder how different our day to day lives would be if we took the same approach? We would say sure, I may not be where I want to be in life right now, but at least I'll have a story. This isn't the end. And even though it's hard, I'm not going to give up because one day when I'm looking back at the crazy things that happen to me I'm going to let out the biggest gut-busting laugh you've ever heard. Because it will actually be funny. When we see things in retrospect it's amazing how small they seem. The things that once stressed us out and made us angry are not that important any more. They don't even make sense in light of where we're standing in the future because we've made it to the other side. And we know how good it is. 

I am sure a lot of you, if not all, can relate when I say that sometimes life is just downright difficult, especially if you're living in city like Los Angeles. There are days when I wonder if this is all worth it. If moving all the way across the country, away from my family, to one of the most expensive places to live was just a big mistake. It may be years until I am able to answer that question, but for now I'll take comfort in the fact that if nothing else, at least I'll have a pretty good story to tell one day. Besides, isn't that what we all really want anyway?

Changing like the leaves...

It is October, and though I usually find myself becoming more cheerful around this time due to the rising expectation of the holidays that are now swiftly approaching, this year is slightly different. But come to think of it, I am different. 

Not until I finally came back to this familiar environment, the place I now call home, the city that so holds my heart no matter how many other amazing places I go, I hadn't really understood how I had changed. But somewhere between leaving for the adventure of a lifetime and returning to this place I call home, something happened. 

I'm not sure when exactly I started noticing it, but I suddenly find myself more calm and relaxed in situations I would normally feel extremely uncomfortable in. I can't say this feeling has made it's way into every part of my life, but it certainly has transformed a large part. For instance, probably the biggest change I have noticed is that when I make a mistake or get blamed for something I didn't do, it no longer stresses me out. I can finally put things in perspective and give myself room to grow, and FINALLY not take myself so seriously. I'm human. I'm going to make mistakes. And it is OK. It's just one more step towards accepting myself for who I am, and honestly, I think I'm finally realizing that it's not my job to make everyone else happy. I can't control their attitudes toward me or their own lives. And not everything is my fault. As long as I feel confident in who I am and am able to accept myself, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I control my own peace, and they control theirs. For anyone that really knows me, you can probably grasp how HUGE that is for me. And I'm happy to finally be in this place. It just took 22 years to get here...

On another note, I think the main reason for my a bit less-than-cheerfulness at this time could be my lack of social life as of late. But I know it just takes time to get plugged in again. And come to think of it, I have been really really blessed by so many people welcoming me back home with open arms. I keep telling people I feel like I'm home. And I do. I have so many amazing people in my life, but the thing with living in this city is that all relationships take intentionality. With everyone working different schedules and doing so many things at once, it really takes a lot of planning and work to make relationships happen. But I am up for the task! I know I need people in my life, and they need me. So it's gonna happen.

And now I have to brag for a moment. Amazingly, and truly a gift from above, I was blessed with a job within a week of moving back! It was really unexpected, but I am SO thankful for it. I finally have a steady source of income, the one thing I could not seem to find the last time I was here, and that alone has lifted a HUGE weight off my shoulders. And I guess I should mention here the amazing deal we got on our apartment. It's so big! And so affordable! And we found it within a day of looking, which is pretty much unheard of. PLUS, I got my new yellow volkswagon beetle I have affectionately named Daisy, also at a much reduced price. Does God provide or what? It's sort of ridiculous. Ha.

As I continue to decorate our new home and get adjusted to LA life, I think I will start to feel more settled. We've actually accomplished quite a lot in the past few weeks, so I guess I just need to remind myself of that when I start to feel overwhelmed. I am so glad to be here and I know without a doubt this is where I am supposed to be. Traveling with my brother is probably one of the greatest experiences I've ever had, and I know I will cherish it forever. I learned so much about myself and about the world that I never expected to learn, but I know I am different because of it. There are so many stories I will get to tell for the rest of my life, and only Colton and I will ever totally understand because we were the ones to share it with each other, like so many other things in our lives. Remembering all of the crazy things that happened has really made me want to write a book... Blogging during our travels really wasn't enough. So many things happened that I never had time to share, and now I want to! I think that may be my next big endeavor... :)

There is a season...

It never ceases to amaze me how life continues to change, and how no matter what I do to prepare myself for that change, I can never be 100% ready. And my number one strength according to Strength's Finder is Adaptability. Do you see something wrong with that picture?? Cuz I do. I mean jeepers, even though seasons are always changing, the seasons themselves stay the same. Shouldn't I have a hang on this thing by now?

If you haven't already guessed, I am referring to my much anticipated, and now quickly approaching move back to Los Angeles. It's funny how all of my hopeful and positive thoughts suddenly dissipate days before the big move. Everything I once thought a certainty only a few weeks ago, I now seem to be doubting, and fearing. But I've known this fear before, and I know it won't keep me from what I have planned to do. Because I know in my heart of hearts that I really do want to be in LA and that as soon as I hop off that plane, the familiar feeling of being home will settle in my chest. It's just getting there that's not so easy...

Because once again, probably due to my adaptable self, the time I finally start to feel settled in I am once again picking up and leaving. Amazingly, I actually had a lot of fun working at the fair last week. I absolutely loved working the window the one day I got to, even though it takes a lot of energy and brain power to mentally add up people's orders and remember what they got. I even relished the chance to say "do you want fries with that?" because that's always the line for someone who's ended up at the bottom of the barrel, and I clearly should not want to be there. Saying it was like smacking that line in the face. And working the grill wasn't as bad as I thought either. Thankfully the weather has been cooler so it wasn't completely dreadfully hot standing over the sizzling grease-cooked burgers and bacon. When it got busy, we cranked out sandwiches like pros. We had a system, and it was flawless.

A lot of jobs can be made or broken by the people you work with, and luckily, I got to work with some really fun people. Whether I was listening to crazy stories about the 70s while cutting peppers and onions, getting my leg pulled by countless tales told while grilling, or goofing off with Mr. Cheese (our affectionately named slice of cheese that was flung on the wall behind the grill), there was rarely a dull moment. And along with a great experience, I also reached my goal of making enough money to pay for my security deposit and first month's rent when I move back to LA.

I'm nervous to move again because of the dreaded task of searching for a job. I got a lot of great experience last year in LA, but I still don't think I've found the job I feel like I was created to do. Though I am definitely closer than I have ever been. I'm just hoping and praying I find it really soon because without it, it's really difficult to set goals for my life and to have vision for where I'm headed. And being a visionary, I really need vision.

Despite everything else, I am still really excited to move back to LA. I have a feeling this time is going to be different. I've grown a lot over the past 9 months and learned more about myself and what I want than I expected to, and I'm ready to fully dive into life in LA. It's time. It's that season. I'm ready.