Thursday, September 20, 2012

There is a season...

It never ceases to amaze me how life continues to change, and how no matter what I do to prepare myself for that change, I can never be 100% ready. And my number one strength according to Strength's Finder is Adaptability. Do you see something wrong with that picture?? Cuz I do. I mean jeepers, even though seasons are always changing, the seasons themselves stay the same. Shouldn't I have a hang on this thing by now?

If you haven't already guessed, I am referring to my much anticipated, and now quickly approaching move back to Los Angeles. It's funny how all of my hopeful and positive thoughts suddenly dissipate days before the big move. Everything I once thought a certainty only a few weeks ago, I now seem to be doubting, and fearing. But I've known this fear before, and I know it won't keep me from what I have planned to do. Because I know in my heart of hearts that I really do want to be in LA and that as soon as I hop off that plane, the familiar feeling of being home will settle in my chest. It's just getting there that's not so easy...

Because once again, probably due to my adaptable self, the time I finally start to feel settled in I am once again picking up and leaving. Amazingly, I actually had a lot of fun working at the fair last week. I absolutely loved working the window the one day I got to, even though it takes a lot of energy and brain power to mentally add up people's orders and remember what they got. I even relished the chance to say "do you want fries with that?" because that's always the line for someone who's ended up at the bottom of the barrel, and I clearly should not want to be there. Saying it was like smacking that line in the face. And working the grill wasn't as bad as I thought either. Thankfully the weather has been cooler so it wasn't completely dreadfully hot standing over the sizzling grease-cooked burgers and bacon. When it got busy, we cranked out sandwiches like pros. We had a system, and it was flawless.

A lot of jobs can be made or broken by the people you work with, and luckily, I got to work with some really fun people. Whether I was listening to crazy stories about the 70s while cutting peppers and onions, getting my leg pulled by countless tales told while grilling, or goofing off with Mr. Cheese (our affectionately named slice of cheese that was flung on the wall behind the grill), there was rarely a dull moment. And along with a great experience, I also reached my goal of making enough money to pay for my security deposit and first month's rent when I move back to LA.

I'm nervous to move again because of the dreaded task of searching for a job. I got a lot of great experience last year in LA, but I still don't think I've found the job I feel like I was created to do. Though I am definitely closer than I have ever been. I'm just hoping and praying I find it really soon because without it, it's really difficult to set goals for my life and to have vision for where I'm headed. And being a visionary, I really need vision.

Despite everything else, I am still really excited to move back to LA. I have a feeling this time is going to be different. I've grown a lot over the past 9 months and learned more about myself and what I want than I expected to, and I'm ready to fully dive into life in LA. It's time. It's that season. I'm ready.

1 comment:

  1. I wish you the best and will pray you find the right job!

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