Time for yet another transition. I've been back in the US for 3 1/2 weeks now--enough time to start to start feeling a bit settled in my room again and adjust to living out of a closet instead of a backpack, to have found a summer job, to start missing my travels in Europe... and to start planning my next move.
After being in Europe for 4 1/2 months, I was not in the least bit ready to come home. I had finally gotten used to being on the go, always planning my next move, always discovering a new place. I wasn't ready to come back home, back to reality, where the questions about my future were always lurking somewhere off in the shadowy distance. I wasn't ready to think about my next step. As stressful as traveling can be sometimes, I much preferred it to the stress of figuring out what to do with the rest of my life.
But my plane ticket was already purchased (more than double what I paid to get to Europe) and I was getting close to being broke, so sort of had no choice. I bid a sad farewell to Spain, promising to return to the Mediterranean in the future, and feared what was to come on the other side of the Atlantic.
I was never more surprised by how good it felt to be back in the US when I landed in Washington DC on July 26th. Not only did the customs officer show me sympathy when I told him about my passport getting stolen in France, but over and over I was struck by how friendly Americans can be--and how not friendly Europeans can sometimes be. Despite the bad rep Americans tend to have in Europe, and all the obnoxious American tourists I frequently shook my head at, I was never more happy to call America my home than at that moment. After being away for so long, I guess I had gotten used to always feeling a little out of place and the constant tension of never knowing if I'm breaking some sort of European custom or social standard. Stepping onto US shores, I suddenly felt all that fear and tension melt away, like a warm blanket wrapping itself around my tired and heavy shoulders. And it felt so good to be home.
The first few days I thoroughly enjoyed not having a plan. I slept as late as I wanted, I ate whatever we had, I watched TV, and I unpacked my backpack. But soon I couldn't ward off the daunting task of figuring out my future any longer. I had to pick myself up by my bootstraps and get the ball rolling, as heavy as that ball may be. So I started looking for apartments. And searching for jobs. And long story short, Colton and I decided to move back to LA September 23rd and rent an apartment together.
I still have no idea what job I'm going to aim for. I've literally changed my mind about every day. The nice thing about working with HelpX in Europe though is that I think I can now literally be happy doing anything I decide to do. And I finally don't feel uptight like I have to have a specific plan of how I'm going to get to where I want to be... even though I'm still not even sure where that is. I think I'll just take it one day at a time. Maybe get a regular job that pays the bills and then see what I can do in my free time. I literally don't know. I just know that wherever Colton and I decide to live, it's going to be for a long time. I think we're both tired of moving all over the place and want to finally feel settled somewhere. And at least we know we want to be in LA, where we already have a community we can be a part of.
I'm excited to move back. I can honestly say that there is no place I would rather live and invest my life in than LA. People either love it or hate it, and I'm with the LOVE IT gang. LA is where I feel most like myself. It's where I call home. So despite the questions that still linger in the air, I know LA is where I want to be and where I plan to spend the next few years, whatever I end up doing. Even though I may not have a plan, at least I have a home :)
After being in Europe for 4 1/2 months, I was not in the least bit ready to come home. I had finally gotten used to being on the go, always planning my next move, always discovering a new place. I wasn't ready to come back home, back to reality, where the questions about my future were always lurking somewhere off in the shadowy distance. I wasn't ready to think about my next step. As stressful as traveling can be sometimes, I much preferred it to the stress of figuring out what to do with the rest of my life.
But my plane ticket was already purchased (more than double what I paid to get to Europe) and I was getting close to being broke, so sort of had no choice. I bid a sad farewell to Spain, promising to return to the Mediterranean in the future, and feared what was to come on the other side of the Atlantic.
I was never more surprised by how good it felt to be back in the US when I landed in Washington DC on July 26th. Not only did the customs officer show me sympathy when I told him about my passport getting stolen in France, but over and over I was struck by how friendly Americans can be--and how not friendly Europeans can sometimes be. Despite the bad rep Americans tend to have in Europe, and all the obnoxious American tourists I frequently shook my head at, I was never more happy to call America my home than at that moment. After being away for so long, I guess I had gotten used to always feeling a little out of place and the constant tension of never knowing if I'm breaking some sort of European custom or social standard. Stepping onto US shores, I suddenly felt all that fear and tension melt away, like a warm blanket wrapping itself around my tired and heavy shoulders. And it felt so good to be home.
The first few days I thoroughly enjoyed not having a plan. I slept as late as I wanted, I ate whatever we had, I watched TV, and I unpacked my backpack. But soon I couldn't ward off the daunting task of figuring out my future any longer. I had to pick myself up by my bootstraps and get the ball rolling, as heavy as that ball may be. So I started looking for apartments. And searching for jobs. And long story short, Colton and I decided to move back to LA September 23rd and rent an apartment together.
I still have no idea what job I'm going to aim for. I've literally changed my mind about every day. The nice thing about working with HelpX in Europe though is that I think I can now literally be happy doing anything I decide to do. And I finally don't feel uptight like I have to have a specific plan of how I'm going to get to where I want to be... even though I'm still not even sure where that is. I think I'll just take it one day at a time. Maybe get a regular job that pays the bills and then see what I can do in my free time. I literally don't know. I just know that wherever Colton and I decide to live, it's going to be for a long time. I think we're both tired of moving all over the place and want to finally feel settled somewhere. And at least we know we want to be in LA, where we already have a community we can be a part of.
I'm excited to move back. I can honestly say that there is no place I would rather live and invest my life in than LA. People either love it or hate it, and I'm with the LOVE IT gang. LA is where I feel most like myself. It's where I call home. So despite the questions that still linger in the air, I know LA is where I want to be and where I plan to spend the next few years, whatever I end up doing. Even though I may not have a plan, at least I have a home :)
